Thanksgiving and Christmas are both over.  Just a few weeks ago, adult children were whispering among each other --  “So how do YOU think Mom and Dad are doing these days?”   (Adult) “Kids” – today I am talking to you.  (And oh-by-the-way, I’m a “kid”, too.  My Mom is 88 and I’m observing the aging process, just as you are.)

So what did you decide to get Mom and Dad for the holiday? 
Sometimes what Mom and Dad most need are patience, understanding and a good “listen”.  They may still be fiercely independent and want to manage their own affairs. Yet they are overwhelmed by directions to “click”, “go to www.”, email or voicemail.  They needs some help  - but measured help.

So what did Mom and Dad really SAY this year?  Better yet – what did they DO?   Are they having trouble getting around?  Do they need further assistance like a walker, or slight modifications to the home  - a grab bar?   Are their hearing aids so old that they just amplify all the noise and so they turn them off?  Are they having trouble seeing ?   Would they benefit from less throw rugs and a few brighter lightbulbs (rather than the fluorescent penny-savers)?

What do they say they need? (And how does that compare to what you see?) Would they benefit from the peace-and-mind of an emergency call service?   Do they need help managing the checkbook?   Are they missing doctor’s appointments and social engagements because they forget?  Or do they need assistance with transportation (perhaps now afraid to drive in the dark or in the rain)?
It is crucial that you keep an eye out for Mom and Dad. While they may want you to “mind your own business” --- Ohh, I’ve been told that so many times -- assisting may mean gathering the data and  finding the resources to help Mom and Dad maintain their independence.
If Mom and Dad aren’t able to name their needs, would they be willing to visit with a Geratric Care Manager to assess their needs and try to connect them to the right resources?

There are oodles of resources available.  But sorting through them is the tough part.  One resource, where I am a member, is The Eldercare Network.  The fifteen member companies includes service providers in home care and assisted living referrals, case management and counseling, in-home safety resources (like safety modifications, emergency response systems and even adaptive clothing), movement management and transportation, and medical house calls.   

The Network is comprised of locally owned businesses, each with highly skilled, trained and dedicated staff, providing services to older adults and their families.  We know and understand the needs of seniors.  Many owners, like myself, are retired from another profession.  Many have or are watching our parents age and understand, first hand, issues of aging.  We demand for ourselves and therefore provide to you  -- outstanding service.

We have become experts in our subject matter and have an extensive network of resources.  If we cannot help you, we can probably recommend you to someone who can.  To learn more whether a member company can provide the resources you need, please call the network at (415) 820-1439.

Oh yeah,  I am the  group’s Reverse Mortgages specialist. A Reverse Mortgage is a financial tool, available to homeowners 62 and older, that allows the homeowners to access a portion of the equity in their home, and make no payments until they no longer live in their home.  It is most frequently used for “aging in place” needs.  For many seniors, remaining in the family home is the best option for successful aging.   The space is familiar and the home holds many comforting memories.  

For more information about the Eldercare Network, please call (415) 820-1439.   For more information about Reverse Mortgages and how one can benefit your family, please call me at (650) 591-4430.  

Judy Schwartz
www. ReverseMortgagesOnly.com